


Gone Away Awhile

by GothieCakes



Category: South Park
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 07:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1379086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothieCakes/pseuds/GothieCakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was sad to say i didn't cry once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone Away Awhile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SerketShenanigans](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerketShenanigans/gifts).



The sight of seeing someone I love deceased on the ground, made out by lighting and small shadows of the room is truly horrifying. It felt like a bullet shot right through my skull with a range of mixed emotions and sentiments.

It hit me in waves.

First, was to find my phone and call Henrietta, which in this situation was the obvious thing to do, hitting speed dial and ushering over the phone to get to Michaels apartment.

Second was to wait, i considered phoning an ambulance but it wouldn't help much, Michael is dead and nothing will change it.

Third, was when Henrietta rushed through the door and laid eyes on the sight before her, gasping for breaths in the doorway, i heard her gasp and rush over to where i was standing. Already reaching for her phone and pressing three times for police, her lips moved quickly as i watched her crouch onto the ground checking for a pulse, and then her worried expression fell to a look of horror much like the scene itself. I didn't need to hear what the next words were out of her lips were as i read them, “he's dead”.

 

The call was ended soon after.

 

Michaels eyes were lidded with his limbs thrown carelessly beside him almost as if he fell and died just there, there was no way of telling what could of happened and i didn't want to think much into it. Soon enough i heard sirens and saw flashing lights through the blinded windows, it seemed like time was moving in slow motion when a group of people rushed by us and crowded around him with various machines and a stretcher in hand. It didn't register until i felt air rustling through my bangs that we were thrown outside into the cold to wait, i didn't wait around to see him being carried out.

I walked away, hearing faint protests from Henrietta, but i tuned them out with the mixed emotions flooding my thoughts, it made it hard to think straight. After a while I lost track of where i was going, i was walking to nowhere in particular but ended up back in the direction of the trailer park. I was at my front door in no time at all and clawed at the rusted door for it to open, i ended up inside in my room, on my bed and was soon asleep. The images of Michael flashed through my mind in a constant nightmare, sometimes good memories with him would play, us finally having our first kiss after us both being to scared to make a move, it was exact in my mind, us sitting on the graveyard bench, him putting out his cigarette as i observed him doing so, then him leaning down and cupping my face in his hands, i looked away, confused of what he was doing, and as soon as i looked back up to him he placed his lips against mine. The memory was tainted with my mind playing a scene of Michael with handfuls of pills swallowing one by one, soon he was collapsed on the ground and i could do nothing to help him.

I woke up in a cold sweat. The clock beside me flashed '3:01AM', i sat up running a hand through my hair pushing the strands back and taking deep breaths, it hurt to think- No. To know that i was going to have to get used to sleeping alone from now on.

-x-

A few days later it was his funeral.

It was sad to say i didn't cry once, the shock value was still present and it was hard to even express myself properly, even before the funeral, it was just more of a hurt feeling, it could be classified that sad and hurt are on the same level, but compared to it right now, the two are like strangers. I saw Firkle wiping his eyes, he was clinging to Henrietta closely his fingers trembling as he held to her arm. His eyeliner was beyond repair, smudged and leaking down his face, Henrietta had started wiping the tears from his cheeks when he stopped doing it himself, a few days ago he would of been telling her to stop, insisting that he was old enough and didn't need her to act like his mom. As if she remembered exactly that, she stopped and held him close, mumbling that it was going to be okay.

It was going to be hard without him.

-x-

After his funeral, his parents had gotten the courage to finally go through his belongings, most of what was jewelry and clothes, they wanted to keep most of his clothes and small belongings but also kept small mementos for his friends, Henrietta, Firkle and I. Me being the last person to get to his house after his death, i was wearing one of the hoodies that he left with me, even that was enough of a reminder of him, but his dad insisted to give me one last thing from him.  
I knocked on his door, it felt weird not walking in myself, not being greeted by him. His father answered the door, looking worse than ever, bags under his eyes from lack of sleep along with puffy red eyes, We didn't exchange many words, he took one of my hands from my pocket and placed a small shiny object into the palm of it. He closed my fingers over it and shut his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again,  
  


“He would of wanted you to have it”

 

I left soon after that.

-x-

I hadn't talked to Henrietta since we found him, the last words she said to me being the protests for me not to leave her alone, withdrawing my phone, i scrolled to find her name, the conversation was brief, we all decided to meet at Starks pond to scatter a small set of his ashes. Without hesitation she agreed, she would pick up Firkle and we would meet.

I put the phone down as i watched the sun start to set over the calmed water. It seemed like the perfect setting, the cold air didn't seem as harsh, the wind was soft and the waves were calmed down to small swells.

-x-

Almost on cue i heard footsteps behind me,i got up from the bench, Henrietta had gotten his remains and was holding them close to her, she gave us one last glance then opened her hands away from herself letting the ashes scatter across the water. It was rhythmic seeing the dust gently float through the air, leaving no traces as they blew away in the wind and down into the waters.  
There was a long moment of silence, no one gave any move to leave, but just continued looking out to nothing in particular, i thought of all the time we spent together, the good times up until the bad. I felt Henrietta give me a reassuring pat on the back and the two sets of footsteps faded off into nothing.

I reached my hand into my pocket and withdrew the shining object, It was his earring. I sat back down onto the bench and looked down at the glistening cross. My eyes started to feel heavy, as i clutched the object close to my chest.

I let out a struggled cry and tears started to spill down my cheeks,.

Thinking back, we had a good run. We'd fallen in love,spent almost every living moment together, and created some of the best memories that i will carry with me until the end. From all the years of being best friends to lovers, I'll never forget the day you whispered “I love you” against my lips, or the way i laughed when you asked me if i loved you back, i never did tell you if i did that day, and i have your answer,

I love you Michael.

 

**Author's Note:**

> "I think about you, and all the times that we shared,  
> And oh what a wonderful pair, we, made it so far here we go again"
> 
> Gone Away A while- SafetySuit


End file.
